Migratory patterns of socks


My Fuck You socks and Strong Lady socks

My Fuck You socks and Strong Lady socks


So if you know me you know I usually steer far away from the math, (no real numbers were used in these figures don’t worry) but I was turning the laundry after cleaning, sorting, packing, and¬†organizing my kids rooms for our Epic Adventure, ¬†and I had found an incredible, staggering amount of socks. I had also just cleaned out both cars since purchasing The Mother Ship, (thats the name of the big ass SUV we just got.)

So I’m knee deep in socks and I get to thinking of where they all came from and how come we “Never have any flippin’ socks in this house.”

Off the top of my head here’s what I came up with… (keep in mind I live in a house with 5 dudes and a dog, your infestation may not be as severe.)

At any given time one has at least 6 socks in your couches/chairs. Do you have a living room or say a playroom or game room? (thats about 20 socks for me) Lets say 3 socks under each bed, in the covers, down the crack, or general bed area (4 beds for us). Another 2 under the seat in your car or in the trunk from a sandy beach or playground trip. There’s 9 in the clean basket in your room but none match. 13 in the dryer half wet. 11 in the wash. 23 in the dirty pile. 1 in your big purse/diaper bag. Keep in mind baby socks are particularly sneaky…A few in the toy box, a few crammed in shoes in the shoes closet….oh, and the 5 stretched out grungy ones with holes in your drawer, don’t forget those.

So I learned two things; First, A socks natural habitat is erywhere and they like to migrate. And, B) Now that I know that I don’t have to feel bad about sock stress, its just the way of the sock. Woosaah.
…And for a moment i forgot what i was doing and wondered, where am I going to put all these socks?…then I remembered…..

Thank god we are moving to San Diego cuz we need to wear more flip flops!!

Here are some fun visual aids….